Would you Like To Grow? Get UncomfoRtable

It’s time to get uncomfortable.

Last week, I was sitting on my deck enjoying a beautiful morning that felt more like fall than a hot summer day. Since fall is my favorite season, I was a happy camper. I am not just happy because of the weather; I was also savoring a nice cup of coffee, some vanilla yogurt with high-protein crunchy granola, strawberries, and blueberries on top. 

I was also enjoying a fine cigar while watching several bird friends feast on my bird buffet next to the deck. I was surrounded by a jungle of ferns and flowers, and my Thai pepper plants are full of bright red peppers. I love most Thai food; it’s spicy, and I enjoy hot food.

 I live in a lovely suburban home where I’ve been for over forty years. I hire someone to mow my grass, trim trees and shrubs, and wash my windows. I have a car wash membership, which I use at least once a week to give my comfortable SUV a quick wash. I hate driving a dirty car. I think it’s a sin found somewhere in the Bible. So, who am I to question God?

Within fifteen minutes of my house, there are nine grocery stores, about the same number of gas stations, a wide variety of restaurants, several parks, and drug stores, not to mention countless stores that sell more stuff than anyone could use in ten lifetimes. If I want to go out for half an hour, let’s just say a whole world of opportunities to spend money awaits. 

My life is comfortable.

How about yours?

Many of you are probably thinking, “Geez, ain’t he lucky! I’d like to see him walk in my shoes for a while.”

I get it.

Having traveled to many places around the world, I must admit that my life has always been quite comfortable. I hold images in my mind of women carrying large water jugs on their heads for a mile or two every day. I have seen that scene many times. It was difficult for me to believe that many people on this planet still have no running water.

In a few days, I returned home to my Moet faucets and running hot water. Traveling internationally to places that were “real,” not just for tourists, greatly expanded my view of the world. Most of all, those journeys made me grateful. I left knowing that these people are already at home, and indoor plumbing remains a distant dream. But the experiences were often very uncomfortable.

There is nothing wrong with comfort, I’m all for it. However, living life without challenges has a dark side. In many cases, discomfort can lead to health and growth. We need discomfort.

Have you ever started to wrap something in a rubber band, only for it to snap back at you instantly? If you're not over-extending it, a band that sits unused for a long time loses its elasticity and becomes useless. Rubber bands are designed to be stretched. So are humans.

I am not advocating poverty, or even that everyone should witness what it looks and feels like firsthand. I am proposing that the human spirit is designed to be stretched. Like a muscle that is not used, humans can atrophy, and it’s not a pretty sight.

I am presently in Cincinnati serving as a “guide-in-training” for a church planting Discovery assessment program. I signed on for this challenge earlier this year, and this is my third three-day session. I am meeting all kinds of new people, from event sponsors and planners to the many candidates experiencing the event. People have come from all over the country to advance the Kingdom of God by doing our best to start new, healthy, multiplying churches.

Since this is my third Discovery event, I’ve become more comfortable settling into three long days of discussions, assessments, and great conversations. At the start of the event, assessors and assesses do not know each other, but by the end of today, we will have made new friends and been encouraged by the realization that these sacrificial people will start many new churches and change many lives. 

The discomfort of reading dozens of pages of evaluation, flying to different locations, sleeping in new beds, and meeting new people is worth the effort. I grow every time I attend this life-changing session. This program helps keep my relational muscles from atrophying.

However, my discomfort level is minimal compared to many candidates who come to Discovery unsure of what to expect. They understand they will be challenged and evaluated on their calling and ability to plant a church. I greatly respect these courageous individuals. It’s rare for someone to go through this program without emerging on the other side feeling more prepared for their future. That’s the benefit of allowing oneself to be challenged.  

Growth involves discomfort. Maintaining fitness involves discomfort. Acquiring new knowledge involves discomfort. Trying new activities involves discomfort. Growing older involves discomfort. Starting a new job involves discomfort. 

Along with two friends, I am currently starting a new ministry and business called Vanguard Leaders, Inc. The new nonprofit aims to develop leaders by forming learning cohorts. We will spend a year meeting regularly and traveling to three different locations across the country for two days of learning, supporting each other, and enjoying some downtime. Cohort learning is one of the most effective ways to advance one’s education.

The new company challenge is tough! Although I have led many learning groups, they were not quite like this in style and intensity. I'm excited but also a little nervous. One thing I am sure of is that I will grow as a leader, a follower of Christ, and an individual. I know this because I already feel uncomfortable. 

Well, it’s time for me to pack up and head out for the last day of Cincinnati Discovery. I’m excited to encourage my new friends to take more chances, embrace a little discomfort, and grow. 

I’ll also enjoy a gourmet meal at one of my favorite upscale restaurants – Skyline Chili. Woot! Woot! I might also feel some discomfort after I stuff my face, but it will be worth it. I will learn from the discomfort. 

Put yourself into situations of discomfort. You were made for it, and you will grow stronger for it.

Live Inspired!

Don Mark

P.S. My book, Lead Like a Bodyguard – Fifty-Two Timeless Leadership Lessons, is presently on sale on Amazon. This would be a great time to purchase a copy and give it away as a gift to a developing leader. Thanks in advance!